The East Coast Road Trip by Steve Deeks

Author:Steve Deeks
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Troubador Publishing Ltd
Published: 2016-04-11T04:00:00+00:00

“I think,” Simon said, with a look of profoundness and a just a hint of sarcasm having digested the news. “We should get you a medal. Maybe your Queen will give you a Knighthood too. You are what the British Empire is all about.”

“Rather than getting a medal maybe you’ll get Aids instead,” Sam laughed. Despite the well deserved jibes I got the feeling they didn’t matter a jot and that, in truth, he was bursting with pride over his achievements and couldn’t wait to tell anyone who had a pair of ears, unless he was trying to pull them, of course.

Incredibly, with the sun out for a second consecutive day, which hadn’t happened for ages it seemed, we decided to make the most of it and went down the beach. With it already early afternoon it meant we only had a few hours before the shade from the skyscrapers ruined our sunbathing.

I decided to go into the sea – not too deep, of course, in case there was a shark lurking near shore. Those in the water had to remain within a tight zone due to the rough nature of the ocean. Cautiously wandering out, with my manhood by now a shell of its former self due to the freezing cold sea, I struggled to keep my feet planted on the ground thanks to the fierce rip tides. And then, while caught momentarily off balance, I was sent flying by the sea with my trunks - unfortunately for once not tied up - slipping off my legs like a ring that is too big for a finger, leaving me rather exposed. Steadying myself, back in shallower water, I instinctively grabbed my dangly bits to cover up the unedifying sight and stood firm to prevent myself being launched any further.

Still in a daze I hurriedly scrambled about looking for my shorts. I heard a piercing whistle. And again. It sounded like someone was at a rave such was the ferocity of the blow. I looked over one shoulder. Nothing. Then looked over the other. Sure enough, as I feared it maybe, the incessant noise was coming from the lips of a lifeguard. I realised I was outside of the swimming zone but it was hard to know if this was the reason he was screeching at me, or whether it was because my bottom being on full view for all the beach to see. I was not arrogant enough to assume everyone would enjoy the free show but with no clear defining signal of what the problem may be it was difficult for me to know for sure what was wanted of me. I took a guess and walked slowly back into the swimming zone, with my pale buttocks blinding all those poor people on the beach.

Feeling a bit uneasy about being short-less on the beach and having the lifeguard on my case I upped the ante to find my pair. Parents with small children covered their little ones’ eyes as I roamed about in the vague hope I would be reacquainted with my trunks.

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